Theory vs Reality
I read a lot while I was pregnant and formed a lot of theories as to how things were going to go once I brought my daughter home. She was going to be breastfed only. No bottles, no pacifiers and she was going to sleep in our room in a pack and play so that I could easily wake and feed her at night.
Less than two hours after we brought her home though, she had a bottle full of formula stuck in her mouth because I was afraid she wasn't getting much to eat. She was terribly fussy and my milk had not yet come in. I was told delayed lactation is a common problem for moms who have a cesarean, but that didn't make me feel any better.
The formula seemed to fill her up some and we were offered some relief until it was time to go to bed. Nathan and I had not slept much all since I had been admitted to the hospital and were ready to crash. Autumn had other ideas though. She cried and wailed throughout the night. No sooner would we calm her and put he down and she was up again. We tried more bottles of formula and a pacifier that she kept spitting out every few minutes. Eventually her eyes closed and we were able to sleep for a few hours.
One of the problems with having a newborn is that everyone else who ever had a baby also has an idea how things are supposed to go. After that first night of no sleep, I spent the next two nights sleeping upright on our chaise lounge in the living room with Autumn cradled in my arms. She slept well, but I woke up feeling like the worst mother in the world for not putting her to sleep on her back like all the experts say we should to help prevent against SIDS. One nurse at my doctor's office said we should immediately stop sleeping with her like that lest we create a needy, clingy baby who will never be able to sleep on her own. Another nurse who called on us at home said we should do whatever works for us to get some sleep right now. If Autumn can fall asleep in our arms right now then so be it. Our pediatrician said it's impossible to spoil her at this point and that I need to get enough sleep to keep my milk supply up.
Speaking of milk, that's another hurdle entirely. Wednesday I went back to the hospital to meet with one of their lactation consultants who showed me that my latch, while not totally incorrect, was not totally effective. Apparently Autumn wasn't getting as much milk as she should and in turn wasn't gaining as much weight as she should. Again I had another terrible mother moment but the LC assured me that things would be fine once we got the latch down. She advised me to pump after feedings to build up my supply because Autumn would soon be hitting a growth spurt and my supply may not meet her demand. Well, that growth spurt seemed to have hit sooner than I thought it would because the girl has been eating like a athlete in training. The constant nursing has taken its toll and I once again resorted to a bottle of formula so that I could finally get some sleep last night.
So, since I've been home I feel as though I've made every mistake possible with this girl. Maybe there's a "Parenting for Dummies" book out there for me.
Less than two hours after we brought her home though, she had a bottle full of formula stuck in her mouth because I was afraid she wasn't getting much to eat. She was terribly fussy and my milk had not yet come in. I was told delayed lactation is a common problem for moms who have a cesarean, but that didn't make me feel any better.
The formula seemed to fill her up some and we were offered some relief until it was time to go to bed. Nathan and I had not slept much all since I had been admitted to the hospital and were ready to crash. Autumn had other ideas though. She cried and wailed throughout the night. No sooner would we calm her and put he down and she was up again. We tried more bottles of formula and a pacifier that she kept spitting out every few minutes. Eventually her eyes closed and we were able to sleep for a few hours.
One of the problems with having a newborn is that everyone else who ever had a baby also has an idea how things are supposed to go. After that first night of no sleep, I spent the next two nights sleeping upright on our chaise lounge in the living room with Autumn cradled in my arms. She slept well, but I woke up feeling like the worst mother in the world for not putting her to sleep on her back like all the experts say we should to help prevent against SIDS. One nurse at my doctor's office said we should immediately stop sleeping with her like that lest we create a needy, clingy baby who will never be able to sleep on her own. Another nurse who called on us at home said we should do whatever works for us to get some sleep right now. If Autumn can fall asleep in our arms right now then so be it. Our pediatrician said it's impossible to spoil her at this point and that I need to get enough sleep to keep my milk supply up.
Speaking of milk, that's another hurdle entirely. Wednesday I went back to the hospital to meet with one of their lactation consultants who showed me that my latch, while not totally incorrect, was not totally effective. Apparently Autumn wasn't getting as much milk as she should and in turn wasn't gaining as much weight as she should. Again I had another terrible mother moment but the LC assured me that things would be fine once we got the latch down. She advised me to pump after feedings to build up my supply because Autumn would soon be hitting a growth spurt and my supply may not meet her demand. Well, that growth spurt seemed to have hit sooner than I thought it would because the girl has been eating like a athlete in training. The constant nursing has taken its toll and I once again resorted to a bottle of formula so that I could finally get some sleep last night.
So, since I've been home I feel as though I've made every mistake possible with this girl. Maybe there's a "Parenting for Dummies" book out there for me.
