Head trauma
Last night I was dressing Autumn and had her sitting up on the changing table. She lost her balance and fell back, hitting her head on the edge of the table. There was an audible thunk and then her face turned bright red as she registered the pain. She alternated between a very loud howl and a silent scream where her mouth was open but no sound came out. I felt awful, of course, and tried to console her. She eventually calmed down, but I felt as though I had betrayed her by not making sure she was completely safe.
That incident was pretty much on par with the tone of the day. There seemed to be one mommy-inflicted trauma after another. If I wasn’t sucking boogers out of her nose with the nasal bulb, I was abandoning her on the floor so I could help make dinner and pushing spoonfuls of cereal in her face when she clearly didn’t want it. All fodder for future therapy sessions, I’m sure.
Yesterday wasn’t all bad, though. Autumn made her first trip to the library. This was kind of a big deal since Nathan and I both love to read. We hope to someday pass this love on to our daughter and have already collected some board books that will more likely get soft with baby slobber before they’re ever read.
As we opened the doors to the library, I let out an excited breath and, sounding very much like my mother, exclaimed, “Autumn, this is the library!” I could have said, “this is Disneyworld” and it wouldn’t have made a difference to her, but I thought it was a cool moment. As we walked in, that library smell hit me. The township built a brand new library several years ago so this isn’t the same building I visited when I was a kid, but it smells exactly the same. It’s one of those smells associated with very good memories of my brother and I spending our summer days there.
After the library, we paid a visit to my grandma, who happens to live about five hundred feet from the library’s front door. Autumn wasn’t quite feeling the love and busted out crying the second I put her in Grandma’s arms. She’s been very choosy about the company she keeps lately and doesn’t like being held by someone other than Nathan or me unless she’s in a really good mood (read: not tired, not wet and not hungry). After about half an hour and much soothing and cajoling, Autumn finally decided Grandma was not the devil and happily smiled and bounced on her knee.
Since both Nathan and my grandma love to talk, it was awhile before we got back home. We put Autumn to bed a little later than usual and went to bed ourselves a little later than usual. Autumn is coming down with a cold and we heard her wheezing through the baby monitor as we tried to fall asleep. Around midnight she started crying so I retrieved her from her crib and armed myself with the saline drops and the nasal bulb.
Yes, the abuse continues.
That incident was pretty much on par with the tone of the day. There seemed to be one mommy-inflicted trauma after another. If I wasn’t sucking boogers out of her nose with the nasal bulb, I was abandoning her on the floor so I could help make dinner and pushing spoonfuls of cereal in her face when she clearly didn’t want it. All fodder for future therapy sessions, I’m sure.
Yesterday wasn’t all bad, though. Autumn made her first trip to the library. This was kind of a big deal since Nathan and I both love to read. We hope to someday pass this love on to our daughter and have already collected some board books that will more likely get soft with baby slobber before they’re ever read.
As we opened the doors to the library, I let out an excited breath and, sounding very much like my mother, exclaimed, “Autumn, this is the library!” I could have said, “this is Disneyworld” and it wouldn’t have made a difference to her, but I thought it was a cool moment. As we walked in, that library smell hit me. The township built a brand new library several years ago so this isn’t the same building I visited when I was a kid, but it smells exactly the same. It’s one of those smells associated with very good memories of my brother and I spending our summer days there.
After the library, we paid a visit to my grandma, who happens to live about five hundred feet from the library’s front door. Autumn wasn’t quite feeling the love and busted out crying the second I put her in Grandma’s arms. She’s been very choosy about the company she keeps lately and doesn’t like being held by someone other than Nathan or me unless she’s in a really good mood (read: not tired, not wet and not hungry). After about half an hour and much soothing and cajoling, Autumn finally decided Grandma was not the devil and happily smiled and bounced on her knee.
Since both Nathan and my grandma love to talk, it was awhile before we got back home. We put Autumn to bed a little later than usual and went to bed ourselves a little later than usual. Autumn is coming down with a cold and we heard her wheezing through the baby monitor as we tried to fall asleep. Around midnight she started crying so I retrieved her from her crib and armed myself with the saline drops and the nasal bulb.
Yes, the abuse continues.
